How to Trust Yourself and Silence Your Inner Critic

Have you ever found yourself constantly second-guessing your decisions? That feeling of doubt, the little voice in your head that questions every choice you make—can be exhausting and make you feel insecure. I've been there, and I know firsthand how debilitating it can be.

Growing up, I was the perpetual outsider. In Hawaii, I was one of the only white kids in my school. In Bethesda, I was the hippy boy trying to fit into white suburbia. By the time I reached college, my self-doubt had reached a crescendo. I was the only one in my freshman dorm not to receive a fraternity bid, leaving me feeling more alone and insecure than ever before.

But it was at this rock bottom that I experienced what I now call my "rock bottom bounce." In my "Religions of the World" class, a professor casually mentioned a book that had changed his life. Intrigued, I sought it out, and from the moment I finished "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie, I knew I could never go back to my old way of thinking.

I dove headfirst into the world of self-help and personal development, turning myself into a human science experiment. With each principle I tested and applied, I began to rebuild my shattered self-trust and silence the inner critic that had been my constant companion for so long.

In this blog, I will share with you the hard-won lessons from my journey from a bullied outcast to a self-assured individual. We'll explore what it truly means to trust yourself, why it's crucial for a fulfilling life, and practical steps on how to trust yourself, even if you're starting from rock bottom like I did.

Upgrades You’ll Earn from This Blog:

• Improved self-confidence

• Silencing the Inner critic

• Enhanced emotional resilience

By the end of this blog, you'll have a better understanding of self-trust and steps you can take to rebuild it starting today. Ready to begin? Let’s dive in.

What Does It Mean to Trust Yourself?

At its core, self-trust is about believing in your own judgment, decisions, and instincts. It means having confidence in your ability to handle life’s challenges, both big and small. For many, though, this trust has been shaken by past experiences, negative self-talk, or even trauma, leaving them feeling lost in a cycle of doubt.

1. Self-Confidence — Self-confidence is the belief in your ability to tackle challenges and make sound decisions. It’s about standing tall, even in tough times, and trusting in your capacity for growth.

2. Self-Reliance — Self-reliance involves trusting your judgment and instincts instead of seeking constant external validation. It empowers you to make decisions independently, guided by your own knowledge.

3. Intuition and Decision-Making — Trusting your intuition means listening to your inner voice and letting it guide your choices, even when logic suggests otherwise. It helps you make decisions that align with who you are.

4. Emotional Intelligence — Emotional intelligence is understanding and managing your emotions in a healthy way. Trusting yourself enhances your ability to navigate emotional challenges and make decisions that reflect your true feelings.

I Don't Trust Myself Psychology

"I don't trust myself" psychology refers to a mindset where a person lacks confidence in their own judgment, decisions, and abilities. This often stems from:

1. Past experiences: Negative outcomes from previous decisions can make you doubt your judgment.

2. Criticism: Harsh criticism, especially during childhood, can lead to self-doubt.

3. Perfectionism: Setting unrealistic standards can make you feel like you're constantly falling short.

4. Comparison: Constantly comparing yourself to others can undermine your self-confidence.

5. Fear of failure: Worrying excessively about making mistakes can paralyze decision-making.

6. Trauma: Traumatic experiences can shake your faith in your ability to handle situations.

7. Low self-esteem: Overall, a negative self-image can extend to doubting your capabilities.

8. Overthinking: Analyzing situations excessively can lead to indecision and self-doubt.

This lack of self-trust can manifest as:

• Constant second-guessing

• Seeking excessive reassurance from others

• Difficulty making decisions

• Avoiding responsibility or new challenges

• Feeling anxious or stressed about choices

Understanding these factors is the first step in learning to build self-trust. It's about recognizing patterns and gradually working to change them through self-reflection, positive experiences, and sometimes professional help.

The Impact of Trauma on Self-Trust

Trauma can deeply undermine your ability to trust yourself, distorting self-perception and decision-making. Whether from major events like accidents or more subtle experiences like emotional neglect, trauma can erode confidence and make you question your worth and judgment.

1. Psychological Effects on Self-Perception — Trauma can lead to seeing yourself as weak or unworthy, creating a cycle of self-hatred that further erodes self-trust.

2. Physiological Responses and Decision-Making — Trauma triggers heightened alertness, or "fight or flight" mode, affecting your ability to think clearly and trust your instincts. This can lead to anxiety and overwhelm, making self-trust even more challenging.

How to Build Self-Trust:

Rebuilding self-trust takes time, but with consistent effort, you can strengthen that trust and feel more confident in your decisions and abilities

Here’s how to start.

1. Start with Self-Reflection and Self-Awareness

Understanding yourself is the first step toward trusting yourself. This might seem simple, but it’s a powerful tool. Here are some useful tips:

• Take time to reflect on your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors

• Use journaling and meditation to see your inner self more clearly

• The better you understand yourself and your own needs, the more easily you can trust your decisions

• Regularly assess your progress in key areas of life: mindset, career, relationships, physical health, and emotional well-being. You can take our Core Values Quiz to find out how you are doing in your core life areas that are tied to happiness.

Read More: Self Reflection Questions for Growth

2. Set Small, Achievable Goals and Celebrate Your Wins

Trust is built through action.

• Start by setting small goals that are easy to achieve

• This could be something as simple as drinking more water every day or going for a short walk. The key is to choose goals that are realistic and attainable. When you achieve these goals, you’re proving to yourself that you can follow through on your intentions. See, you can never build self-trust if you keep not doing what you say you will do.

• Celebrate each small victory as a building block for self-trust. It will keep you motivated.

• Use apps to track your progress and make goal-setting more engaging and fun. To crush every goal you set, follow my guide to 7 Steps to Goal Setting.

3. Practice Self-Compassion

Imagine how you'd talk to a friend who made a mistake. Would you criticize them harshly, or would you offer support and understanding? Now, try applying that same kindness to yourself. As Dr. Kristin Neff, a pioneer in self-compassion research, says, “Self-compassion is simply giving the same kindness to ourselves that we would give to others.

Here are some strategies to build self compassion:

Start a daily self-compassion ritual:

• Set aside 5 minutes each morning to write down three things you appreciate about yourself

• Use an affirmation app to send yourself daily affirmations or compassionate reminders

Develop a growth-focused response to setbacks:

• When facing a challenge, ask, "What can I learn from this?" instead of criticizing yourself

• Keep a "lessons learned" journal to track your growth and progress

Create a self-compassion emergency kit:

• Write down supportive phrases or quotes on index cards to read when you're feeling down

• Record a comforting message to yourself that you can play during difficult times

4. Embrace a Growth Mindset

A growth mindset is the belief that you can improve through effort and learning. This mindset is closely tied to what I call the "Equation of Life":

Here's how to cultivate it:

Reframe challenges as opportunities:

• Create a "Challenge Log" where you list each difficulty you face and brainstorm potential growth opportunities it presents

• Set a daily goal to identify at least one learning opportunity in your routine tasks

Practice the "Yet" technique:

• Whenever you catch yourself saying, "I can't do this," add the word "yet" (e.g., I haven't done this yet) to the end

• Keep a "Yet List" of skills you're working on, and regularly update it with your progress

Cultivate a failure-positive attitude:

• After each setback, write down three lessons learned and how you'll apply them going forward

• Share your "failure stories" with friends or in a support group, focusing on the growth that resulted

• Dont forget to celebrate your efforts and persistence as much as your successes

Gamify your learning process:

• Use our habit-tracking app to record your daily learning activities

• Award yourself points for each new skill you attempt, regardless of the outcome

• Set up milestone rewards for reaching certain "experience levels" in different areas of your life

5. Challenge Negative Self-Talk

We all have that inner critic, but it’s important to recognize when it’s holding you back. Negative self-talk can be a major barrier to self-trust.

Implement a "Thought Catch and Release" practice:

• Set reminders on your phone throughout the day

• When the reminder goes off, pause and identify any negative self-talk

• Write down the negative thought, then immediately reframe it positively

• Track how many thoughts you've "caught and released" each day

Develop a"Growth Owner Mindset" mantra:

• Craft a personal mantra that embodies self-trust and growth, such as, "I am capable and growing. Each challenge makes me stronger. I trust my journey and embrace my potential."

• Record yourself saying this mantra with conviction. Play this recording during your morning routine or when facing challenges

• Update your mantra regularly as you grow and overcome obstacles

Practice the "Five Cores Check-In":

• When negative self-talk arises, evaluate it against the five core areas of life: Mindset, Career & Finances, Relationships, Physical Health, and Emotional & Mental Health

• Ask yourself: "Is this thought helping me grow in any of these areas?"

• If not, challenge yourself to reframe the thought to support growth in at least one core area

Use the "Future Self" technique:

• Visualize your ideal future self who has overcome current challenges

• When faced with a negative thought, ask, "What would my future self say about this situation?"

• Write a supportive letter from your future self to your present self. Read this letter when you need encouragement to challenge negative thoughts.

Overcome Fear and Silence Your Inner Critic

Fear and persistent inner critic are two of the biggest obstacles to trusting yourself. They often feed off each other, with fear fueling the inner critic’s harsh words. But you can learn to manage these challenges and build a stronger sense of self-trust.

1. Identify Where Your Fear and Doubt Come From

The first step in tackling fear is to pinpoint its source. Ask yourself: What am I really afraid of? Is it a failure? The possibility of making the wrong decision? Or maybe it’s the fear of not being good enough.

When you take the time to identify what’s driving your fear, it starts to lose its power. Often, just recognizing that fear is at the root of your self-doubt can help you feel more in control.

2. Face Your Fears One Small Step at a Time

You don’t need to conquer your biggest fears all at once. Start with small, as small changes lead to big results. If you’re afraid of public speaking, begin by practicing in front of a mirror, then in front of a close friend, and gradually work your way up to larger groups.

Each small step you take toward facing your fear is a victory. Over time, these small wins will add up, and you’ll find that the fear that once seemed insurmountable is now much more manageable.

3. Build Resilience Through Experience

Resilience is your ability to bounce back from setbacks, and it’s a key component of self-trust. The more you face your fears and challenge your inner critic, the more resilient you become. Each time you overcome a challenge, you prove to yourself that you can handle difficult situations. This experience builds a reservoir of self-trust that you can draw on when new challenges arise.

Learn More: How to Work on Yourself

Cultivate Intuition and Inner Wisdom

Trusting yourself often comes down to listening to your intuition and tapping into your inner wisdom. These are the quiet voices that guide you when you’re faced with decisions or challenges. Learning to trust them can significantly boost your confidence in yourself.

1. Tune Into Your Intuition Through Mindfulness

Mindfulness is one of the best ways to connect with your intuition. When you’re mindful, you’re fully present-minded, paying attention to your thoughts, feelings, and sensations without judgment. This heightened awareness helps you notice the subtle signals your intuition sends. You might feel a gut reaction to something, a sense of ease or discomfort, or a quiet nudge in a certain direction. By practicing mindfulness regularly, you’ll become more attuned to these signals and more confident in following them.

2. Use Journaling to Discover Your Inner Voice

Journaling is a powerful tool for getting in touch with your inner wisdom. When you write, you’re not just recording your thoughts; you’re also giving yourself the space to explore them deeply.

Read More: Importance of Habit Journal

Set aside some time each day to write freely about whatever is on your mind. Don’t worry about grammar or structure—just let your thoughts flow. Over time, you’ll start to notice patterns of thoughts and insights that reveal your true feelings and desires. This practice helps you clarify your inner voice and learn to trust it more.

3. Listen to Your Body and Emotions

Your body and emotions often know the truth before your mind does. When faced with a decision, pay attention to how your body reacts. Do you feel tense or relaxed? Energized or drained? Your physical and emotional responses can provide valuable clues about what’s right for you.

By learning to listen to these cues, you can make decisions that align with your true self, rather than what you think you should do.

4. Trust Your Gut Instincts

We’ve all heard the phrase “trust your gut,” but it’s more than just a saying. Your gut instincts are often the result of your brain processing information quickly and efficiently, drawing on past experiences and knowledge.

When you get a strong feeling about something, whether positive or negative, it’s worth paying attention to. Trusting your gut doesn’t mean ignoring logic or reason, but it does mean giving your instincts the respect they deserve.

Learn More: How to Be a More Positive Person: 10 Tips That Work

Strengthen Your Decision-Making Skills

Making decisions with confidence is a key part of trusting yourself. When you trust your ability to make good decisions, you feel more in control of your life and less reliant on others for guidance. Here’s how you can strengthen your decision-making skills.

1. Practice Analytical Thinking

Analytical thinking involves breaking down a problem into smaller parts and examining each one carefully. This helps you see all the factors involved and make a more informed decision. Start by gathering all the relevant information, considering the pros and cons, and thinking about the possible outcomes. When you approach decisions analytically, you’re less likely to be swayed by emotions or outside influences and more likely to trust the choices you make.

2. Weigh the Pros and Cons

A classic method for making decisions is to weigh the pros and cons. This simple exercise can provide clarity when you’re feeling uncertain. List the advantages and disadvantages of each option, and consider which factors are most important to you. This process not only helps you see the situation more clearly but also reinforces your ability to trust the decision you ultimately make.

3. Seek Advice, But Maintain Autonomy

It’s okay to seek advice from others, especially when you’re making a big decision. However, it’s important to maintain your autonomy in the process. Listen to what others have to say, but remember that the final decision is yours. Trusting yourself means valuing your perspective as much as—or more than—the opinions of others.

4. Learn from Your Past Decisions

Reflecting on past decisions can be incredibly valuable for improving your decision-making skills. Think about a decision you made recently—what went well, and what didn’t? What would you do differently next time?

By learning from your experiences, you can refine your decision-making process and build greater confidence in your ability to make good choices in the future.

When to Seek Professional Help

Building self-trust is essential for personal growth, but it can be challenging to tackle on your own. Recognizing when to seek professional help is a powerful step in strengthening that trust and staying on the right track toward lasting change.

Moore Momentum’s coaching is here to offer that support. Our transformative approach helps you identify your goals, overcome obstacles, and build habits that stick.

What makes our coaching unique is that we gamify personal growth, turning it into an engaging and rewarding journey that’s not only effective but also fun and sustainable

Our program focuses on the 5 Core Areas of Life, which are crucial for building and maintaining self-trust:

- Mindset Core — Develop a “growth owner mindset” that empowers you to see challenges as opportunities, boosting your confidence in making decisions.

- Career & Finance Core — Find fulfillment in your career and master your finances, strengthening your self-trust and sense of reliability.

- Relationships Core — Surround yourself with supportive people and learn to trust others, which in turn strengthens your own self-confidence.

- Physical Health Core — Take charge of your physical well-being with regular exercise, proper nutrition, and rest, giving you the energy and self-worth to face any challenge.

- Emotional Health Core — Master your emotions to ensure your decisions align with your true self, reinforcing your self-trust.

With Moore Momentum, you’re not just building self-trust—you’re equipping yourself with the tools and support to thrive in every aspect of your life.

FAQs: How to Trust Yourself

Why is self-trust so important?

Self-trust is essential because it forms the foundation of your confidence and decision-making abilities. When you trust yourself, you’re more likely to take risks, pursue your goals, and handle life’s challenges effectively. Without self-trust, you may find yourself constantly second-guessing your decisions and relying too heavily on others for validation.

What is the connection between physical health and self-trust?

Taking care of your physical health sends a powerful message to yourself that you are worth taking care of. When you prioritize your physical well-being through exercise, nutrition, and rest, you build the energy and stamina to face life’s challenges confidently. This self-care reinforces your self-trust, as it shows you’re committed to your well-being.

How can I overcome the fear of failure to build self-trust?

Overcoming the fear of failure involves changing your mindset. Instead of seeing failure as something to avoid, view it as a learning opportunity. Each time you take a risk and fail, you gain valuable experience that helps you grow. By embracing a growth mindset and taking small steps to face your fears, you can build resilience and increase your self-trust over time.