How to Stop Bad Habits & Addictions That Affect Your Self-Perception?
Aug 25, 2023
You've Got Control Over Your Life. Just Do What The Bee Gees Did…. Eventually.
Hey there Casanovas and disco queens, are you ready to boogie to the max? After watching “The Bee Gees: How Can You Mend a Broken Heart” on HBO, I'm feelin' the flower power (and it's powerful, alright)!
Sorry about my silly 70s references, but man did I love how this Bee Gees documentary made me feel. Not only did it act as a time machine to an era filled with groovy tunes and foxy fashion, but it made me understand how to stop bad habits & addictions—and so can this blog.
Let's keep on steppin'! Maybe I'm tripping a bit, thinking you all are experts regarding the Bee Gees. Don't know who they are? Maybe this will help:
A Merry-Go-Round of Momentum
Much like a carnival ride, the Bee Gees had a revolving career full of ups and downs. Now, these lads loved The Beatles (I mean, who doesn't?), and they decided that they were gonna be JUST like them.
Well... that worked for ‘em. They were exactly like them when it came to certain stimulants rhyming with rugs, if you know what I mean. But they could also blast off into popularity for a bit before dipping into the depths of obscurity.
No need to despair; this wasn't the end of the Bee Gees. In 1977, good vibes were brought back into the mix in the form of the movie “Saturday Night Fever.” This masterpiece shot them up into fame—not to be confused with the 1980 film of the same name — as disco kings!
Those three men dressed in blindingly bright pantsuits flew as high up on momentum as possible, taking them all the way to stardom. Then, they fell hard.
They went from blasting off to falling to taking right back off again. Round and round the cycle they went until they built enough positive momentum to keep themselves up. By watching the documentary, I quickly realized the secret to their success. That secret? How to break a bad habit.
It's simple to understand exactly which failure habits made them fall, and the success habits that sanctioned them to reach for the stars. It all came down to how to stop bad habits & addictions that they allowed to build up and mess with their groovy flow.
Perception Connection - Keep on Keepin’ On
Mirroring the drama of the Bee Gees themselves, their HBO documentary opens with their hit “Stayin' Alive” while clips of the band play montage-style.
Now here's the lowdown: if you aren't a fan of the Bee Gees, you may not know that Barry Gibb, at 74 years old, is the last living brother of the group. Later in the documentary, Barry has a voiceover (spoiler alert: its mind blowing).
“My immediate family is gone, but that's life. It's the same thing in every family that someone will be left in the end. [At] this time in life, I have fantastic memories, but everybody's memories are different. So they're my memories, you know?” - Barry Gibbs.
Sure, it's a bit of a bummer, but here's a hilarious skit of Jimmy Fallon impersonating Barry on Saturday Night Live to make you feel better. Good? Anyways, this voiceover really shows how to break bad habits and be happy—it all comes down to your approach.
As the story moves forward, the momentum trips these brothers go on really begin to emphasize Barry's meaning in his voiceover. Happiness is a locked door, and perception is the key.
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Get Your Groove On to Break Bad Habits
Barry had everything he needed to really enjoy his former glory (that sparkly pantsuit, for one), and yet he wasn't as happy as he could have been.
Why is that? Well, good ol' Barry was set on being a victim of the world; he didn't know how to break bad habits and thought there was nothing he could do to improve his situation.
In other words, he was stuck in a fixed-victim mindset. His perception of himself was so fixed on this that he could not see past it to build up his momentum. He didn't know how to break bad habits that weighed him down. Or may be he was in his comfort zone and had no idea how to exit comfort zone?
Coming to the present, Barry is now more aware of his perception and how he blocked up his happiness for so long. He can fondly look back and see what the past may look like if he were a growth owner instead of being part of culture of victimhood. Much like he must've, we are all capable of saying:
“Hey you, I know you've got it in you. You ARE strong. Sure, there may be some hurdles in life, but those are temporary. Growth is forever. When you come up against a problem, you'll knock it out like a bad*&$ because you know that it's an opportunity for you to become the best you that you can be.”
Characteristics of a Fixed-Victim Mindset
Here are the characteristics of a Fixed-Victim Mindset:
External Blame: Individuals with a fixed-victim mindset tend to blame external factors for their challenges and failures. They view themselves as helpless victims of circumstance, unable to influence outcomes.
Negative Self-Image: This mindset leads to a negative self-perception, where individuals see themselves as incapable of making positive changes. They might have low self-esteem and struggle with self-worth.
Resistance to Change: Those with a fixed-victim mindset may resist opportunities for personal growth or change because they believe that their efforts will be futile. This can hinder their ability to overcome bad habits or unhealthy behaviors.
Repetition of Unhealthy Behaviors: The fixed-victim mindset can perpetuate a cycle of repeating old habits, even when those habits are detrimental to one's well-being. For example, it can contribute to ongoing drug addiction, alcohol abuse, or other negative behaviors.
Lack of Accountability: Taking responsibility for one's actions becomes challenging within a fixed-victim mindset. This lack of accountability can hinder progress and hinder efforts to develop healthy habits.
Overcoming the Fixed-Victim Mindset
And here is how you can overcome it!
Self-Awareness: Recognizing the presence of a fixed-victim mindset is the first step. Acknowledging that this perspective exists allows individuals to work toward change.
Challenge Negative Beliefs: Confronting and challenging negative beliefs that reinforce the fixed-victim mindset is crucial. This involves questioning the accuracy of these beliefs and seeking evidence to the contrary.
Cultivate Growth Mindset: Developing a growth mindset involves understanding that personal change is possible through effort and learning. Embracing challenges and setbacks as opportunities for growth can help shift the perspective.
Set Goals: Setting achievable goals helps individuals regain a sense of agency over their lives. Focusing on small accomplishments can gradually build confidence and undermine the fixed-victim mindset.
Seek Support: Overcoming a fixed-victim mindset often requires support from friends, family, or mental health professionals. Therapy, counseling, or support groups can provide tools to change negative thought patterns.
Practice Self-Compassion: Practicing self-compassion allows individuals to treat themselves with kindness and understanding, which can counteract feelings of helplessness.
So, How Can You Break Bad Habits in 2023?
In what way do you perceive your life? As Barry taught us, you could be looking at your life through a tinted perspective that affects everything you do.
This applies to all aspects of life: your career path, your relationships, your aspirations, and everything in between. Do you know how to break a bad or unhealthy habit, or do you feel stuck in a loop of failure?
If you ARE trapped in a fixed-victim mindset, what will you do to turn it around and become a growth owner? So that instead of lacking energy, you find yourself building up positive momentum more and more every day?
Start by taking advice from the Bee Gees with their glittery pantsuits and glorious hairstyles: life is what you make of it. Instead of believing you don't know the process of breaking bad habits, escape that downtrodden mindset and do something about it.
Breaking Bad Habits & Addictions
While this somber remembrance of the Bee Gees is upsetting, it isn't unique to them. Many musicians are susceptible to the darker side of life because of all the pressure, and that type of reality is what HBO wants for their documentaries—one of my favorites being “Rolling Stone: Stories from the Edge.”
After all, people like you and me aren't music gods or wearing sparkly pantsuits (right?); if they can't get through it, what chance do we have?
Funny enough, you've got an even better shot.
Because you aren't preoccupied with trying to be a rock legend or dealing with being a famous band from the 70s, it'll be easier for you to learn breaking habits. So, let's keep moving forward.
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The first thing you can do is realize that your brain is creating and following new habits all the time. But these habits may not always be good for you.
The truth? Your habits don't know or care if they are good vs. bad. YOU need to identify which are working FOR you and which are working against you to create a better, healthier life for yourself.
Next, it's time to act! If you want to go from having a fixed-victim mindset to being a growth owner, you need to ask yourself, how would a growth-owner start? Those pesky failure habits need breaking, and they aren't gonna do it themselves. The first thing you can do to learn how to break bad habits is to take action.
I hear you, “but how do I take action?” you're thinking. Well, I'll give you a tip. It may feel strange, but one of my top helpful activities is to put thoughts to paper. Think about your top 3 fears and then write them out.
By scribbling them down, you are taking them out of your head and placing them onto the paper. Once you know where to begin, make a list of personal values and follow morning routine checklist. If you start small, you'll be able to build up positive momentum in no time!
The best part? The year is still fresh, and you've got a lot of time to make 2021 your b!#@h.
You can do anything you put your mind to, just like Will Smith says in the 2006 film “The Pursuit of Happyness.” You are capable of learning how to break bad habits and being a growth owner!