Nathalie Botros on Finding True Joy by Building Happiness Habits

✍️ EPISODE OVERVIEW

In this transformative episode, former banker turned happiness advocate Nathalie Botros shares her powerful journey from chasing external success to discovering genuine inner joy. Growing up in Turkey and later working as a banker in Switzerland, Nathalie had seemingly achieved it all – the prestigious career, the house, the lifestyle. Yet, something was missing. After moving to the US and gaining 40 pounds, she found herself trapped in the cycle of extreme dieting and self-criticism.

Read More: How to Find Joy in Life

Her breakthrough came when she realized that true happiness couldn't be found in external achievements or body measurements. Instead of continuing to chase the next goal or diet plan, she developed simple yet powerful keystone habits to cultivate self-love and genuine joy. Through practices like her daily mirror exercise and intentional smiling, she transformed her relationship with herself and discovered sustainable happiness.

This episode offers practical insights for anyone feeling stuck in the cycle of chasing external validation or struggling with self-acceptance. Nathalie's approach combines mindset shifts with actionable habits that make happiness an achievable daily practice rather than a distant goal.

📖 CHAPTER SUMMARIES

1. The Chase for External Happiness (0:00 - 6:00) Nathalie opens up about her early life in Turkey and career as a banker in Switzerland, where she had all the external markers of success but still felt unfulfilled. After moving to Milan and then to the US, she continued chasing different goals, thinking each achievement would bring happiness. This segment explores the universal tendency to seek happiness in external accomplishments and material success, highlighting how this approach often leads to continued dissatisfaction and the realization that true contentment must come from within.

2. Breaking Free from the Weight Loss Obsession (6:00 - 12:00) After moving to the US, Nathalie gained 40 pounds and became obsessed with weight loss, trying everything from extreme diets to pregnancy hormone injections. This period marked a turning point when she realized the futility of seeking happiness through physical transformation. The discussion delves into the broader implications of body image issues and how the pursuit of external ideals can distract from genuine self-acceptance and happiness. Learn More: How to Back on Track with Diet

3. The Mirror Exercise Revolution (12:00 - 18:00) Nathalie introduces her transformative mirror exercise practice, where she would stand naked in front of the mirror daily, challenging herself to find something to love about her body. This segment explores how this simple yet powerful habit helped shift her self-perception and build genuine self-love. The discussion expands into the importance of positive self-talk and how small daily practices can create significant mindset changes over time.

4. The Power of Intentional Joy (18:00 - 21:00) This section focuses on practical techniques for cultivating happiness, including the CBRP (Catch, Breathe, Remind, Reflect, and Pivot) method and Nathalie's signature smiling technique. The discussion emphasizes how these simple practices can interrupt negative thought patterns and create new neural pathways for joy. Special attention is given to the scientific backing of these methods and their effectiveness in building lasting happiness habits and finding joy in life.

5. Creating Ripples of Happiness (21:00 - 25:34) The final segment explores how making others smile can amplify our own happiness. Nathalie shares her practice of "smile it forward" and discusses how focusing on others' joy can paradoxically increase our own well-being. This chapter also touches on the importance of gratitude for basic necessities and finding contentment beyond material pursuits, concluding with practical advice for implementing these happiness habits in daily life.

🔑 KEY TAKEAWAYS

1. The Happiness Chase Paradox The constant pursuit of external achievements – whether career success, perfect body image, or material possessions – often leads to a cycle of temporary satisfaction followed by renewed dissatisfaction. True happiness requires shifting focus from external goals to internal well-being and self-acceptance. This shift involves recognizing that while ambition is healthy, attaching our happiness to future achievements keeps us from experiencing joy in the present moment. Read More: Habits of Happy People

2. The Mirror Exercise Revolution Developing a daily practice of standing in front of the mirror and actively finding aspects to appreciate about yourself can transform self-perception and build genuine self-love. This exercise isn't about immediate transformation but about creating a consistent habit of positive self-acknowledgment. Starting with small areas of appreciation and gradually expanding this practice helps rewire negative self-talk patterns.

3. The Power of Intentional Language The words we use, both in self-talk and general conversation, significantly impact our emotional state. Replacing phrases like "I'm stressed" with "I'm excited" or "I'm tired" with "I feel energized" can shift our mental state. This practice isn't about denial but about consciously choosing language that empowers rather than depletes us.

4. The CBRP Method for Emotional Management Implementing the Catch, Breathe, Remind, Reflect, and Pivot technique provides a structured approach to managing negative thoughts and emotions. This method helps interrupt automatic negative thought patterns and creates space for more constructive responses to challenges. Regular practice strengthens our ability to shift from reactive to responsive behavior.

5. The Smile it Forward Practice Making a conscious effort to bring smiles to others' faces not only spreads joy but also increases our own happiness. This practice can be as simple as giving genuine compliments or showing understanding to service workers. The ripple effect of these small acts of kindness creates a positive feedback loop of joy and connection.

6. The Fake It Till You Make It Strategy Scientific evidence supports the effectiveness of "acting as if" – smiling even when not feeling happy, or maintaining positive posture even when feeling down. These physical actions can trigger corresponding emotional states through the release of endorphins and other feel-good hormones.

7. The Basic Needs Perspective Maintaining gratitude for basic necessities like shelter, food, and water helps create a foundation for genuine happiness. This perspective shift helps combat the endless cycle of wanting more and helps establish contentment with what we already have.

8. The Movement Method Physical movement, whether through dancing, jumping, or simply changing posture, can immediately alter our emotional state. This technique provides a quick and effective way to break negative thought patterns and shift into a more positive mindset.

9. The Relationship Reset Using humor and lightness to defuse tense situations, particularly in relationships, can transform conflicts into opportunities for connection. This approach helps remind us that we're on the same team rather than opponents. Listen to our Podcast on Having Difficult Conversations

10. The Simplicity Solution True happiness often lies in simplicity rather than complexity. Focus on basic, repeatable actions that bring joy rather than elaborate plans or expensive solutions. This approach makes happiness more accessible and sustainable.

🥇 GOLDEN HABIT

Definition of Golden Habit: A 'Golden Habit' is the optimal habit to relieve a pain point/replace a bad habit because it's personalized to your DNA, goals, and lifestyle in order to maximally reduce the friction to form it.

The Golden Habit should be: - DESIRABLE: Should be enjoyable and rewarding. - PRACTICAL: Must easily integrate into one's existing routines. - IMPACTFUL: Expected to significantly enhance well-being.

This Episode's Golden Habit: From the discussion, Nathalie's "Smile it Forward" practice emerges as her golden habit. She commits to making at least one person smile each day, particularly targeting those who seem unhappy, like grocery store cashiers. This habit perfectly aligns with her personality and values while providing both personal joy and positive impact on others. (Time stamp: 18:24)

Related Core Area: This habit primarily aligns with the Emotional & Mental Health Core, addressing the pain point of disconnection and negative thought patterns by creating positive interactions and emotional rewards.

🚀 READY PLAYER ONE?

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🫅 BIO - Nathalie Botros

Nathalie Botros, known as "The Bon-Vivant Girl," is a certified psychotherapist and life coach who helps people develop a healthy relationship with food, their bodies, and themselves. Born in Turkey and educated in Switzerland, she brings a unique multicultural perspective to her work. After her own journey from banking to self-discovery, she now dedicates herself to helping others find joy and self-acceptance through practical, sustainable habits.

Nathalie Botros approach combines psychological insights with real-world strategies, making happiness accessible to everyone. Based in New York City, she works with clients globally, sharing her message of living life to the fullest while maintaining a balanced, joyful approach to health and happiness.