From 'I Hate My Life' to Happiness: A Step-by-Step Guide

Jul 15, 2025

By Will Moore

If you've ever thought "I hate my life," you're not alone. My teenage years were the same. I was in that dark place at 18 - dealing with an alcoholic mother, constant bullying, and feeling so worthless that thoughts of suicide plagued me. I hit rock bottom after a violent argument with my mother led to my arrest and a night in jail. Sitting in that cell, I felt utterly hopeless about ever escaping the cycle of misery that had defined my existence.

However, the rock bottom became the spark I needed. In college, I discovered the life-changing book "How to Win Friends and Influence People," which transformed me forever. Slowly but surely, I adopted a growth mindset, faced my fears head-on, and built unshakable confidence and relationships.

In this article, I'll share strategies to help you achieve contentment, even if you hate your life. You can create positive change by making meaningful adjustments in each core area.

Why Should You Listen to Me?

I'm not just another self-help guru who's never lived through real struggle. At 18, I was sitting in a jail cell after being arrested for attacking my alcoholic mother during a violent argument. As I ate that disgusting bologna sandwich, I was convinced I was destined for a life of misery.

Let me paint you the full picture of just how bad things were:

Childhood trauma: Born to hippie parents in Hawaii, I was one of only two white kids in our school. We lived in such a rough area that my sister and I were chased home by kids with knives. When my parents divorced due to my mother's alcoholism, we moved to Maryland where I became the weird outsider—again.

Social disaster: I was the gangly 6'3", 145-pound kid who couldn't get a date, constantly tripped over himself, and changed his name from "Rocky" to "William" in first grade because kids kept wanting to fight me. In high school, I was literally the real-life "Diary of a Wimpy Kid."

Family chaos: My mother's rage was legendary. Even after she quit drinking, her explosive anger made home feel like walking through a minefield. The night that landed me in jail wasn't an isolated incident—it was the culmination of years of dysfunction.

College catastrophe: I was the only freshman in my dorm to rush a fraternity and not get a bid. I remember hiding in my room with the lights off while everyone else celebrated their acceptances, fantasizing about how guilty everyone would feel if I were dead.

Maybe your rock bottom looks different, but the feelings are the same: worthless, hopeless, convinced that happiness is something that happens to other people.

Read More on Why Do I feel Like a Failure

The Discovery That Changed Everything

Then something miraculous happened in my "Religions of the World" class. My professor casually mentioned a book that had altered his life. That book was "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie—my first taste of what was possible when you stop being a victim and start taking control.

But here's what most people get wrong: It wasn't one book or moment that changed my life. It was developing a systematic approach to growth that I could apply consistently.

The 25-Year Experiment

I became obsessed with one question: What does it actually take to build a life you love waking up to?

I turned myself into a human science experiment, testing every piece of advice and strategy I could find. The results: I built and sold Doorstep Delivery for $323 million, built meaningful relationships, and discovered genuine happiness.

The counterintuitive truth: Financial success alone didn't make me happy. Through years of experimentation, I identified five pillars of life that must work together for genuine life satisfaction: Mindset, Career/Finances, Relationships, Physical Health, and Emotional Health/Giving Back.

What You'll Learn

This isn't another "think positive" article. This is a battle-tested system born from 25 years of real-world experimentation and validated by neuroscience research.

You'll discover why you feel stuck, how to systematically address each core area, and the specific daily practices that create lasting change.

Important: This content is educational only. If experiencing thoughts of self-harm, contact 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline immediately.

Why Do I Hate My Life?

Understanding why you might hate your life is crucial to overcoming these feelings. Let's explore the common reasons behind such feelings

Societal Pressures and Unrealistic Expectations

Modern society is filled with pressures and expectations that can contribute to dissatisfaction and self-loathing. Social Comparison Theory, developed by psychologist Leon Festinger, suggests that we constantly evaluate ourselves by comparing ourselves to others, particularly those portrayed on social media. This relentless comparison can lead to feelings of inadequacy and dissatisfaction with our own lives.

Some of the most common sources include:

Social Media: Constant exposure to curated images of others' seemingly perfect lives can lead to comparison and feelings of inadequacy. For example, seeing friends post about their new jobs, vacations, or relationships can make you feel like you're falling behind, even if you're making progress in your own life.

Research from the University of Pennsylvania shows people who limit social media to 30 minutes per day report significantly lower feelings of loneliness and depression within just one week.

I remember feeling this way during the early days of building Doorstep Delivery, seeing peers succeed in corporate roles while I struggled to get my business off the ground. Comparison is the thief of joy. True happiness lies in following your passions regardless of how others are doing with their life. You can learn more on how to find happiness within yourself in our detailed blog.

Cultural Norms: Societal expectations about success, appearance, and lifestyle can create pressure to conform and achieve standards that may not align with your personal core values or abilities. For instance, there might be an implicit expectation to follow a specific career path or lifestyle by a certain age, which can feel overwhelming and lead to feelings of failure if your life doesn't follow this script.

Consumerism: The relentless pursuit of material possessions as a measure of success often leads to temporary satisfaction followed by deeper discontent. This can manifest in the constant need to upgrade your life to the latest gadgets, cars, or houses, creating temporary happiness and long-term dissatisfaction.

Even after selling my business, Doorstep Delivery, for $323 million, I realized I needed a deeper sense of purpose and fulfillment. Money can't buy happiness. We need to become the best version of ourselves, not in our careers but in all cores of life.

Lack of Self-Discipline

In today's hyperconnected world, the focus on immediate satisfaction undermines long-term planning and self-discipline. This cultural shift can erode the foundations for sustained personal growth and fulfillment.

Laura Vanderkam, Author of 168 Hours, says, "The key is not to prioritize what's on your schedule; it's to schedule your priorities."

Key aspects include:

Instant Gratification: The desire for quick rewards can prevent the development of patience and perseverance. For example, watching TV instead of working on a long-term project can provide immediate pleasure but hinder long-term success.

Distractions: The abundance of digital distractions, such as notifications from social media, emails, and endless streaming options, can make it difficult to focus on long-term goals. This constant influx of distractions can fragment your attention, making it harder to complete meaningful tasks.

Research from the University of California, Irvine found that it takes an average of 23 minutes to fully refocus after a digital interruption, meaning constant notifications can destroy productivity and create a sense of spinning your wheels without progress.

Having a Fixed Mindset

A fixed mindset is the belief that abilities and intelligence are static and unchangeable. This mindset can lead to several negative behaviors and thoughts:

Fear of Failure: Avoiding challenges due to a fear of not succeeding. For instance, you might not apply for a job promotion if you doubt your ability to grow, leading to missed opportunities. I had to overcome this fear when taking the leap to start Doorstep Delivery.

Inaction: Giving up easily when faced with obstacles. For example, abandoning a new exercise routine after a week because it feels too challenging rather than pushing through initial discomfort to achieve long-term benefits.

Decision-Making Paralysis and Procrastination

The abundance of choices and information in the digital age can lead to decision-making paralysis and procrastination.

Key factors include:

Overwhelm: The sheer number of options for everything from career paths to leisure activities can make it difficult to choose, leading to inaction. For instance, you might spend hours browsing job listings but never apply for positions if the choices feel manageable.

Fear of Making the Wrong Choice: The pressure to make the "right" decision can be paralyzing. This fear often stems from a fixed mindset where failure is seen as a negative reflection of your abilities rather than an opportunity to learn and grow.

Perfectionism: Striving for perfection can lead to constant delays in decision-making as you wait for the perfect moment or conditions, which rarely, if ever, arrive.

Psychologist Barry Schwartz's research on "The Paradox of Choice" shows that having too many options actually decreases satisfaction and increases anxiety, explaining why modern life can feel overwhelming despite having more opportunities than ever before.

Burnout, Inefficiency, and Miswanting

This constant striving to keep up with a fast-paced world often results in the following:

Burnout: Emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by prolonged stress. For example, working long hours without adequate rest can lead to feeling constantly tired, irritable, and disengaged from work and personal life.

The World Health Organization now recognizes burnout as a syndrome caused by persistent, unmanaged stress in the workplaceas, contributing to both physical illness and mental health issues.

Inefficiency: Struggling to manage time and energy effectively, leading to a sense of spinning wheels without making progress. This can manifest as being busy always but not feeling productive, leading to frustration and dissatisfaction.

Miswanting: Pursuing goals that don't bring true happiness or fulfillment. For instance, you might strive for a high-paying job or a luxury lifestyle because you believe it will make you happy, only to find that these achievements leave you feeling empty and unfulfilled. I experienced this firsthand—even after my $323 million exit, I realized that external achievements alone couldn't fill the void. True fulfillment required addressing all five core areas of life: mindset, career/finances, relationships, physical health, and emotional health/giving back, not just financial success.

Now that you understand the core reasons behind life dissatisfaction, it's time to assess which areas are affecting you most:

Self-Assessment: Rate each area below 1-10 based on what you just read:

Social pressures and comparison (how much do others' opinions affect you?)
Self-discipline and focus (how well do you stick to long-term goals?)
Growth mindset (how do you handle failure and challenges?)
Decision-making (how quickly do you take action on important choices?)
Energy and purpose (how often do you feel burned out or empty?)

Your lowest 2 scores indicate where to focus your transformation efforts first.

What to Do When You Hate Your Life

Feeling overwhelmed by negative emotions and dissatisfaction can be paralyzing, but there are practical steps you can take to improve your situation.

Let's explore a step-by-step method to move from hating life to finding happiness, starting with identifying where you might be lacking and setting achievable goals to create a more fulfilling existence.

Step 1: Identify Where You Are Lacking in the Five Core Areas of Life

The first step towards improving your life is understanding where you feel most discontent. The 5 core areas of life are:

Mindset: Your mental attitude and outlook on life.
Career & Finances: Job satisfaction, financial stability, and growth opportunities.
Relationships: The quality and depth of your personal and professional relationships.
Physical Health: Your overall physical well-being and fitness levels.
Emotional & Mental Health: Your ability to manage stress, express your passions, and maintain mental balance.

Rate each area 1-10 honestly:

Which areas scored below 6?
Which 2 areas scored lowest?
How do these low scores show up in your daily life?

Example: You might realize that your dissatisfaction stems primarily from your career (scoring 3/10) and relationships (scoring 4/10). Perhaps you feel stuck in a job that doesn't utilize your skills while also feeling isolated and disconnected from others.

You can take this two-minute core value quiz to determine your performance in core areas of life.

Learn How to Stop Being a Failure

Step 2: Identify Your Personal Values

Understanding and living your values provides direction and energy. Even during my business success, I felt empty until I aligned my actions with deeper values beyond money.

Ask yourself:

When have you felt most alive and fulfilled?
What activities give you energy vs. drain you?
What do you regret not doing more of?

Common Personal Values Examples:

Growth: Learning, improvement, personal development
Connection: Relationships, community, love
Impact: Making a difference, helping others, legacy
Freedom: Independence, flexibility, autonomy
Security: Stability, safety, predictability

Example: If Connection is one of your core values, then your low Relationships score (from Step 1) becomes a high priority. If Growth matters most, then a low Career score demands immediate attention.

Step 3: Develop a Growth-Owner Mindset

Now that you know where you stand and what matters to you, you need to develop the right mindset to create change. This mindset shift was crucial to my transformation from victim to entrepreneur."

Mindset Transformation Examples:

Victim Thinking	Owner Thinking
I hate my job but have no choice	What skills can I develop to create better options?
People don't like me	How can I become someone others enjoy being around?
I don't have time to exercise	How can I redesign my schedule to prioritize my health?

Accept challenges as growth opportunities: When I first started Doorstep Delivery, I had zero experience in food delivery. Every obstacle became a learning opportunity that led to eventual success.

Learn from criticism instead of getting defensive: When an investor harshly criticized our business model, I used his feedback about driver parking logistics to solve a major operational problem.

Celebrate effort over perfect outcomes: Focus on showing up consistently rather than perfect results.

Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck's research shows people with growth mindsets achieve 34% better outcomes because they view setbacks as information, not identity threats.

Related Article: Growth Mindset Activities for Kids

Step 3: Identify Your Failure Habits

Alongside recognizing which core area you lack, it's crucial to identify the habits contributing to your dissatisfaction. During my own transformation, discovered that failure habits compound just like success habits—they get stronger over time.

Common Failure Habits by Core:

Mindset Failure Habits:

Constant negative self-talk ("I always mess up")
Victim thinking ("Bad things always happen to me")
Avoiding challenges due to fear of failure

Career & Finances Failure Habits:

Procrastination on important projects
Not investing in skill development
Avoiding difficult conversations with managers
Living paycheck to paycheck without emergency savings

Relationships Failure Habits:

Avoiding meaningful conversations
Always waiting for others to reach out first
Staying in energy-draining relationships
Isolating when stressed instead of seeking support

Physical Health Failure Habits:

Skipping meals or eating processed food when busy
Using caffeine/sugar to get through energy crashes
Making excuses to avoid exercise
Staying up late scrolling social media

Emotional Health Failure Habits:

Ignoring stress until it becomes overwhelming
Having no outlets for creativity or passion
Never helping others or contributing to causes
Bottling up emotions instead of processing them

Steps to Identify Your Specific Failure Habits:

Track for 3 days: Write down your activities and emotional state hourly
Ask trusted friends: "What patterns do you notice that hold me back?"
Use the 5-Why Technique: When something goes wrong, ask "why" five times to find the root habit.

Step 4: Replace with Success Habits

Replacing failure habits with positive ones is essential for creating lasting change. This is where the "repeated actions" part of my equation of life comes into play. Based on my 25-year journey as habits expert, here's how to create habits that actually stick:

Start Small:

❌ "Exercise for 1 hour daily"
✅ "Do 2 push-ups after brushing teeth"

Use Habit Stacking: Link new habits to existing ones

Formula: After [existing habit], I will [new habit]

"After I pour my morning coffee, I will write down 3 priorities for the day"

Make It Obvious: Create environmental cues to trigger the new habit

Place workout clothes by your bed
Put a water bottle on your desk
Set phone reminders for new habits

Make It Attractive: Find ways to make the habit enjoyable or rewarding

Listen to favorite podcast only while walking
Call a friend while doing meal prep
Watch Netflix only while on treadmill

Make It Automatic: Integrate the habit into your routine until it becomes second nature

Success Habit Examples by Core

Mindset

Morning gratitude practice (3 specific things daily)
Reframe challenges as growth opportunities
Celebrate small wins daily

Career & Finances

Spend 15 minutes daily learning job-relevant skills
Automate 10% savings before you see the money
Have one meaningful work conversation weekly

Relationships

Text one person daily to check in
Put phones away during meals with others
Schedule weekly friend/family time

Physical Health

Take stairs instead of elevators
Eat protein with every meal
Go to bed at same time nightly

Emotional Health

Practice 5-minute breathing exercises when stressed
Spend 10 minutes weekly on a hobby you love
Help one person monthly (even small gestures)

Eliminate Daily Friction

Simplify Decision-Making: Reduce the 35,000 daily decisions that drain mental energy

Create templates: Same breakfast daily, specific workout days
Batch decisions: Plan meals weekly, lay out clothes nightly
Set criteria: "Does this align with my top 2 improvement areas?"

Reduce Social Media Exposure: Protect your mental health from comparison traps

Time limits: 30 minutes maximum daily (University of Pennsylvania research shows this reduces loneliness within one week)
Morning protection: No social media for first hour after waking
Curate ruthlessly: Unfollow accounts that make you feel inadequate

You can use any habit tracker app to track your progress. Read more about How to Track Habits

Step 5: Set Values-Based SMART Goals

Now that you know your priority areas, values, and are building success habits, it's time to set goals that will actually fulfill you. Goals without values alignment lead to empty achievements.

Your goals should be Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant (to your values), and Time-bound.

Here are some goal-Setting examples

Physical Health:

❌ Vague: "Get in shape"
✅ SMART: "Walk for 15 minutes after lunch, 5 days per week for 30 days"

Career:

❌ Vague: "Get promoted"
✅ SMART: "Complete one online course in [specific skill] and schedule monthly check-ins with manager about growth opportunities"

Relationships:

❌ Vague: "Make friends"
✅ SMART: "Join one social group (hiking club, book club, etc.) and attend 3 meetings in 30 days"

How Goals Support Your Habits:

Your habits are daily actions, while your goals are monthly targets that give those habits direction. For example, your daily habit might be to text one person to check in, while your monthly goal is to have meaningful conversations with 5 people this month. The habit creates the routine, the goal gives you something specific to achieve.

Action step:

Choose your 2 lowest-scoring life areas from Step 1
Pick one goal for each area that aligns with your values
Make sure each goal supports the habits you're building
Write them down and track your progress

Remember: Goals without daily habits are just wishes. Habits without goals lack direction. Together, they create unstoppable momentum.

Step 7: Create Your Daily Success System

The final step is creating a systematic approach where success becomes automatic. The final step is creating a systematic approach where success becomes automatic. This is how the "time" element of my equation of life works—consistent daily actions compound into life transformation.

Your Morning Power Hour

The first 60 minutes after waking set the tone for your entire day. Start with no phone or social media to protect your mental state, then drink a full glass of water to hydrate your body and brain. Write down 3 specific things you're grateful for, identify your 3 most important tasks for the day, and do 5-10 minutes of physical movement. Finally, ask yourself "How will I live my core values today?" This simple routine creates momentum and clarity before the world demands your attention.

Your Evening Reflection Hour

Before bed, create a digital sunset by turning off all screens at least one hour early. Review what went well today and what could improve tomorrow, then prep for the next day by laying out clothes and reviewing your calendar. End with gratitude for one specific win from today and maintain a consistent sleep routine with the same bedtime in a cool, dark room. This helps your brain process the day and prepare for restorative sleep. Read our article on Self Reflection Questions for Growth

Weekly and Monthly Reviews

Every Sunday, spend 30 minutes planning your week by reviewing progress on your goals, planning meals to reduce daily decisions, scheduling important relationships and self-care time, and assessing which core areas need more attention. Monthly, take a deeper look by re-rating your five core areas to track improvement, adjusting habits that aren't working, celebrating wins and learning from setbacks, and planning next month's focus areas.

Building Accountability and Support

Share your goals with one trusted person who will check in on your progress. Join communities aligned with your values, consider working with a life coach or mentor, and track your progress visibly through habit tracker app.

When you miss a habit: "What's the smallest step I can take to get back on track?"
When you feel overwhelmed: Use the STOP technique (Stop, Take a breath, Observe feelings, Proceed with intention)
When you want to quit: Remember your "why" and review how far you've come

Why Do I Hate My Life Even Though It's Good?

You might hate your life even when it looks good from the outside because you're out of balance. Real fulfillment happens when your mindset, finances, relationships, physical well-being, and emotional well-being are all in harmony. If you're weak in one core area, the others suffer too.

I experienced this firsthand after selling my business. Despite achieving financial success, I felt unfulfilled. On the surface, it seemed like I had everything—money, status, and a thriving career. But deep down, I realized these achievements alone weren't enough to bring true happiness. That's how Moore Momentum was born, where I now coach people on leveling up in all areas of life. Helping others nurtures my emotional core in ways money never could.

Only by strengthening all the pillars—health, relationships, inner peace, and emotional support—can you start genuinely loving your life again. Money and status are nice, but they're just decorations. Nurturing your whole self is what allows true life satisfaction to bloom. Don't compare your behind-the-scenes struggle to someone else's highlight reel that may seem perfect on the surface.

The solution: Use the same 7-step system above to identify which of your five core areas needs attention, even when life looks "good" from the outside. Sometimes the most successful people are the most out of balance.

Read More About How to get Unstuck in Life

Summing up: Why do I hate my life?

Feeling like you hate your life can be a distressing and isolating experience, but it doesn't have to be a permanent state. By identifying where you are lacking in the five core areas of life—Mindset, Career & Finances, Relationships, Physical Health, and Emotional & Mental Health—you can begin to address the underlying causes of your dissatisfaction.

Setting small, achievable goals, developing a growth mindset, simplifying decision-making, reducing social media use, and aligning your actions with your values can help you create a more fulfilling and satisfying life.

🔑 YOU DON’T HAVE TO FIGURE THIS OUT ALONE

You’ve just tapped into powerful strategies—and if they resonated deeply, you’re not alone. The truth? Most people know they need to change… but few have the right support to make it stick.

That’s where Moore Momentum System comes in.

Our 1-on-1 and Executive Coaching programs help you apply everything you just read, using a personalized roadmap built on the Moore Momentum System. You’ll gain clarity, accountability, and the right mindset to finally stop spinning your wheels and start firing on all cylinders.

💡 Learn more and find the right coach for your journey here: 👉 Moore Momentum Coaching

OUR MISSION: Accelerate your growth in the 5 Key areas of life by making your habit transformation journey so simple, fun, and rewarding that your momentum becomes inevitable.

Start leveling up your life today!

FAQs About I Hate My Life:

How to Deal with Being Hated?

Stay Calm: Responding with anger or defensiveness can escalate the situation.
Understand the Source: Try to understand why the person hates you. It may be based on a misunderstanding or personal issue unrelated to you.
Self-Reflect: Reflect on your own behavior to see if there’s anything you could change or improve.
Set Boundaries: Protect yourself by setting clear boundaries with those who express hatred towards you.
Seek Support: Talk to friends, family, or a therapist for support and advice on handling the situation.

How Do I Get Rid of Hate?

Acknowledge Your Feelings: Accept that you are feeling hate and identify the source of these emotions.
Practice Empathy: Try to understand the perspective and circumstances of the person or situation you hate.
Focus on Positivity: Engage in activities that bring you joy and surround yourself with positive influences.
Forgive: Letting go of grudges and forgiving those who hurt you can reduce feelings of hate.
Seek Professional Help: If hate is overwhelming, consider talking to a therapist to explore deeper issues and coping strategies.

What to Do with Something You Hate?

Evaluate Its Impact: Determine how the object of your hate affects your life and if it’s worth addressing.
Change Your Perspective: Try to find something positive or neutral about it to change your outlook.
Limit Exposure: Reduce the time and attention you give to what you hate.
Take Action: If possible, make changes that eliminate or minimize the presence of the hated thing in your life.
Channel Your Energy: Redirect your energy into activities and goals that you are passionate about.

How Do I Let Go of All Hate?

Identify the Source: Understand where your hate is coming from and why you feel this way.
Practice Forgiveness: Forgiving others and yourself helps release feelings of hate.
Focus on Growth: Engage in personal development activities that promote a positive mindset.
Cultivate Compassion: Develop empathy and compassion for others, which can help dissolve feelings of hate.
Mindfulness and Meditation: Use mindfulness practices and meditation to calm your mind and let go of negative emotions.

What’s the point of living life?

The point of living life is deeply personal, but it centers around growth, connection, and making a positive impact. When I was feeling suicidal and lost, I questioned this same thing. Through self-discovery, I found that life's purpose isn't something you stumble upon—it's something you create.

The point of living comes down to five key areas:

Growth: Constantly striving to be better unlocks new potentials and possibilities.

Connection: Building meaningful relationships gives life depth and richness.

Passion: Pursuing what you love brings daily joy and fulfillment.

Impact: Contributing to others' well-being creates lasting purpose.

Resilience: Embracing challenges as growth opportunities builds strength.