How to Change Yourself: A 10-Step Process For a Better YOU

May 6, 2025

By Will Moore

Have you ever looked in the mirror and thought, "I need a change"? Perhaps you're feeling stuck in a rut, unfulfilled by your current circumstances, or simply ready for a new chapter in your life. The desire to transform your life is deeply human, but changing yourself isn't always straightforward.

I discovered this firsthand when I hit rock bottom during my freshman year of college. Despite my hopes that college would give me a fresh start, I found myself isolated and rejected—the only one in my freshman dorm who didn't receive a fraternity bid. That night, as I hid in my darkened room listening to the celebrations in the hallway, I fantasized about ending it all and how guilty everyone would feel for being so mean to me.

What changed? A professor's casual mention of a book that had changed his life led me to the library, where I discovered Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People." This became my first step toward personal transformation—a journey that would eventually lead me from suicidal thoughts to founding a business I would later sell for over $320 million.

What I've learned is that real, lasting change isn't one-dimensional. It flows through five core areas of life—your mindset, career and finances, relationships, physical health, and emotional well-being. When you nurture all five, they create a powerful web of support, each area strengthening the others in a beautiful cascade of positive change.

In this blog, I'll share the 10 science-backed steps that formed the backbone of my personal transformation—practical strategies that helped me become a different person and that you can start implementing today to fix your life and create lasting change in every core area.

10 Steps to Change Yourself

1. Start With Powerful Self-Reflection

Before jumping into action, the most crucial step in learning how to change yourself is understanding your "why." Without clarity about your motivations, any changes you attempt are likely to be short-lived.

Self-reflection is the foundation of lasting transformation. It involves honestly assessing what's working in your life, what isn't, and—most importantly—why you want something different.

Start by asking yourself these powerful questions:

What specific aspects of myself do I want to change, and why?
How would my life be different if I made these changes?
What triggers my dissatisfaction with my current situation?
What pain points am I experiencing that motivate me to change?
What have I tried before, and why didn't it work?

Take time to journal about these self-reflection questions. Identify the things to change about yourself. The answers might surprise you. Often, what we think we want to change isn't actually the root issue. For example, you might believe you need to change your job, when what you're really seeking is more meaning and purpose in your work.

This awareness stage is critical because it helps you identify the real pain points that are stifling your growth. Without this clarity, you might focus on the wrong goals or adopt habits that don't address your true needs.

👉 Need help uncovering what truly lights you up? Download the free Passions List Guide to reconnect with your interests and identify what brings you the most energy and fulfillment.

2. Define Your Values and Create a Compelling Vision

Once you've reflected on why you want to change, the next step is defining your personal core values and creating a vision of your ideal future self. This provides a compass for your transformation journey.

Your core values are the fundamental beliefs that guide your decisions and actions. When you live in alignment with these values, you experience greater fulfillment and purpose. When your actions contradict your values, you feel internal conflict and dissatisfaction.

To clarify your personal values, try this exercise:

List times when you felt most proud, fulfilled, or aligned
Identify the common themes or principles behind these experiences
Narrow down to 3-5 core values that feel most essential to you
For each value, define what it specifically means in your life

With your values identified, now create a vivid vision of your "best self" and ideal life. Close your eyes and imagine yourself one year from now, having successfully implemented the changes you desire. What does your daily life look like? How do you feel? What are you doing? Who are you spending time with?

Write down this vision in the present tense, as if you're already living it. This becomes your "Back to the Future" roadmap—a clear picture of where you're heading that will pull you forward when motivation wanes.

👉 Need help crafting that future vision? Download the free Back to the Future Planning Guide to get started with a proven step-by-step process

3. Set SMART Goals That Drive Action

With a clear vision established, it's time to translate your aspirations into actionable goals. This is where many people attempting to restart their lives go wrong—they set vague wishes rather than specific, achievable targets.

The SMART framework provides a powerful structure for goal-setting:

Specific: Define exactly what you want to accomplish
Measurable: Identify how you'll track progress
Achievable: Ensure it's realistic given your current circumstances
Relevant: Confirm it aligns with your values and vision
Time-bound: Set a deadline to create urgency and focus

For example, instead of "get in shape" (vague), a SMART goal would be "walk 30 minutes daily for the next 8 weeks" (specific, measurable, achievable, relevant to health, and time-bound). Learn in detail about the 7 Steps to Goal Setting here.

The key to successful transformation is breaking down big goals into small, manageable steps. Research in behavioral science shows that we're more likely to take action and build momentum when goals feel attainable. Each small win triggers the brain's reward system, releasing good dopamine that motivates further action.

4. Develop a Growth Mindset

Your mindset is the foundation upon which all other change is built. Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck's research on mindset shows that people generally fall into two categories: those with a fixed mindset (believing abilities are static) and those with a growth mindset (believing abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work).

If you want to know how to change yourself mentally, developing a growth mindset is essential. People with growth mindsets embrace challenges, persist in the face of setbacks, learn from criticism, and find inspiration in others' success rather than feeling threatened by it.

To shift from a fixed to a growth mindset:

Become aware of your self-talk: Notice when you say things like "I'm not good at this" or "I can't change this about myself."
Add "yet" to your vocabulary: Transform "I can't do this" into "I haven’t done this yet."
Embrace failure as feedback: View setbacks as valuable learning opportunities rather than evidence of your limitations.
Celebrate the process, not just outcomes: Acknowledge your effort and progress, not just achievements
Surround yourself with growth-minded people: Their attitudes will influence yours.

When I was struggling with ADHD in college, I initially saw it as a weakness that held me back. But as I developed a growth mindset, I learned to see it as a potential strength. By applying the Pareto Principle—focusing on the 20% of material that would yield 80% of results—I transformed my academic performance and eventually graduated with honors. What I once viewed as my greatest liability became one of my greatest assets.

Want to uncover your natural talents and turn them into superpowers? Download our free Your Strengths List guide to identify and amplify what you're already good at.

5. Master the Science of Habit Formation

When it comes to how to change yourself, nothing is more powerful than habits. As Aristotle said, "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit."

Modern science confirms this ancient wisdom. According to research by neurobiologists, habits form through a four-stage process: CUE-CRAVING-RESPONSE-REWARD

Cue: The trigger that initiates the behavior
Craving: The motivation behind the behavior
Response: The actual habit or behavior itself
Reward: The benefit gained from doing the behavior

Understanding this loop gives you the power to replace bad habits with positive ones. Here's how:

Identify your current habit loops: What cues trigger your unhelpful behaviors? What rewards are you seeking?
Keep the same cues and rewards, but change the response: For example, if stress (cue) leads to social media scrolling (response) for distraction (reward), replace mindless scrolling with a short walk or breathing exercise
Make new habits obvious, attractive, easy, and satisfying: Set up environmental cues, link habits to things you enjoy, reduce friction, and create immediate rewards

For each core area of your life, identify one bad habit to replace with a beneficial one. For example:

Mindset: Replace negative self-talk with a daily gratitude practice
Career & Finances: Replace impulsive spending with automatic savings
Relationships: Replace scrolling through social media with calling a friend
Physical Health: Replace evening TV with a short walk
Emotional Health: Replace stress-eating with a five-minute meditation

The key is to start small. Science shows that tiny habits are more likely to stick than ambitious ones. Begin with habits so small they feel almost laughably easy—like a 30-second meditation or a single push-up. This builds confidence and momentum, allowing you to gradually scale up.

6. Take Immediate Action (No Matter How Small)

Knowledge without action won't help you change yourself. That's why the "Do Something" principle is so powerful: action precedes motivation, not the other way around.

Many people wait to feel motivated before taking action, but research shows that taking even a tiny step creates momentum that generates motivation. As author James Clear puts it: "Motion creates emotion."

The most effective way to overcome inertia is through "micro-actions"—steps so small they bypass your brain's resistance. Examples include:

Putting on your workout shoes (even if you don't exercise yet)
Writing one sentence of your book or project
Drinking one glass of water
Organizing one drawer in your home
Reaching out to one potential connection

When I founded Doorstep Delivery ("Your Favorite Restaurants Delivered to Your Doorstep"), I used the creativity I'd once tried to suppress. Creating the logo for Doorstep became the first crucial step that spurred me to keep going. From there, I went on to oversee the look and feel of all design materials and guide the development of our software, completely transforming the user experience.

Despite challenges in our first year, running through ten times more cash than anticipated, having our business plan stolen by a potential partner, and even being robbed by our GM, we persevered. Eventually, this company grew so substantially that it merged with Bite Squad and was later purchased by Waitr Holdings Inc. for a combined $323 million.

To maximize your chances of taking action:

Plan when and where: Specific implementation intentions ("I will do X when Y happens") make action 2-3 times more likely
Reduce friction: Prepare your environment to make desired actions easier (like sleeping in workout clothes if morning exercise is your goal)
Stack habits: Attach new behaviors to existing routines ("After I brush my teeth, I will do one push-up")

Read our detailed article on Taking Action

7. Build Your Support System

No matter how motivated you are to become a different person, trying to change alone significantly reduces your chances of success. Research consistently shows that accountability and social support dramatically increase the likelihood of achieving goals and maintaining new habits.

Your environment and relationships powerfully shape your behavior, often more than willpower alone. As motivational speaker Jim Rohn famously said, "You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with."

To create effective accountability and support:

Find an accountability partner: Someone who checks in regularly on your progress and offers constructive feedback
Join a community: Connect with like-minded individuals pursuing similar changes through online groups, local meetups, or classes.
Work with a mentor or coach: Someone who's already achieved what you're working toward can provide invaluable guidance.
Make public commitments: Sharing your goals increases your psychological investment in following through.
Create stakes: Set up rewards for success and, if helpful, consequences for getting off track.

Learn More: Life Coach vs Career Coach: Which One Do You Need?

Beyond accountability, your support system provides additional benefits: encouragement during difficult periods, fresh perspectives when you're stuck, and celebration of your wins, no matter how small.

In my own journey, finding allies was a game-changer. When I approached my colleague to join me in launching Doorstep Delivery, his partnership and support made all the difference, especially during that difficult first year when we faced theft, competition, and financial challenges.

👉 Want help identifying your inner circle of positive influence? Use the Top People List guide to intentionally choose the five people who will support your momentum

8. Track Your Progress and Adjust Your Approach

Consistent tracking and reflection are often overlooked but crucial elements. The simple act of measurement increases awareness and motivation, helping you stay focused on your goals.

Tracking serves multiple purposes:

It provides objective feedback on your progress
It highlights patterns you might otherwise miss
It creates a sense of accomplishment as you see improvement
It helps identify obstacles before they derail you

Create a simple tracking system for each area you're working to change. This could be:

A habit tracker app or paper calendar where you mark daily habits
A journal where you reflect on your experiences and emotions

Throughout my personal transformation journey, I kept detailed notes on what worked and what didn't. Each night, I would transfer my handwritten observations from the day onto my computer, creating a personalized playbook for growth. This systematic approach allowed me to refine my strategies over time, compounding my results.

Beyond tracking, schedule regular reviews—weekly, monthly, and quarterly—to assess your overall progress and adjust your approach. During these reviews, ask yourself:

What's working well that I should continue?
What obstacles am I facing, and how can I address them?
Do my current strategies feel sustainable?
Are my goals still aligned with my values and vision?
What small tweaks could improve my results?

9. Celebrate Wins and Practice Self-Compassion

On your journey to transform your life, celebrating victories and practicing self-compassion aren't just nice additions—they're essential components of lasting change.

Our brains are wired to respond to rewards. Each time you acknowledge and celebrate progress, your brain releases dopamine, reinforcing the behaviors that led to success. This creates a positive feedback loop that motivates continued action.

Effective celebration doesn't require grand gestures. Simple acknowledgments work powerfully:

Take a moment to feel genuine pride in your effort
Share your win with a supportive friend
Make a note in your journal
Give yourself a small, meaningful reward
Take a photo to document your progress

Equally important is practicing self-compassion when you experience setbacks, which are an inevitable part of any change process. Research by Dr. Kristin Neff shows that self-compassion—treating yourself with the same kindness you'd offer a good friend—leads to greater emotional resilience and motivation than harsh self-criticism.

When you fall short of your expectations:

Acknowledge the difficulty: "This is a hard change to make, and setbacks are normal."
Recognize you're not alone: "Many people struggle with this same challenge."
Speak to yourself kindly: "I'm doing my best, and each attempt teaches me something valuable."

For years, I was my own harshest critic. But learning to celebrate small wins and practice self-compassion during setbacks completely changed my relationship with personal growth. Instead of beating myself up for mistakes, I began to see them as essential data points guiding my path forward.

10. Embrace the Journey of Continuous Growth

Changing yourself isn't about reaching a perfect end state—it's about embracing an ongoing journey of growth and evolution. True transformation is never "finished"; it's a continuous process of becoming more aligned with your values and vision for your life.

Conclusion: How to Change Yourself

Throughout this guide, we've explored a comprehensive approach to personal change that addresses all five core areas of life: mindset, career and finances, relationships, physical health, and emotional well-being. By working on these dimensions simultaneously, you create powerful ripple effects that accelerate your transformation journey.

Remember these key principles as you move forward:

Start with self-awareness and a clear vision of your desired future
Build a growth mindset that embraces challenges as opportunities
Focus on tiny habits that create momentum and compound over time
Create systems that make good behaviors inevitable rather than relying on willpower
Surround yourself with supportive people who elevate your aspirations
Track your progress and adjust your approach as needed
Celebrate wins and practice self-compassion through difficulties

You Know What to Change. Here’s How to Make It Stick.

The 10 steps you just read are powerful—but without the right system, they’re easy to forget.

The Moore Momentum System takes those same principles and makes them frictionless to follow with a science-backed, gamified experience built for lasting habit change.

👉 Take the Core Values Quiz to see where you stand in the 5 Core Areas of Life—and get your personalized next step.

Frequently Asked Questions About Changing Yourself

Why is change so difficult?

Change is challenging because your brain is designed to conserve energy by automating routine behaviors. Breaking established neural pathways requires consistent effort and the formation of new pathways through repetition. Additionally, change often triggers emotional resistance as it forces you to confront uncomfortable truths or fears.

What are the things to change about yourself?

Consider changing aspects of your life that contribute to personal development and overall well-being. This can include:

Developing new, positive habits such as regular exercise, healthy eating, and mindfulness practices.
Enhancing emotional intelligence by practicing gratitude, empathy, and cognitive reappraisal.
Setting and achieving personal and professional goals.
Improving relationships by building supportive connections and fostering positive social interactions.
Increasing self-awareness through self-reflection and seeking feedback.

How do I change physically and mentally?

For physical transformation, focus on the fundamentals: consistent movement, nutritious food, quality sleep, and stress management. For mental transformation, practice mindfulness, challenge limiting beliefs, seek new learning experiences, and cultivate supportive relationships. The key is creating systems that make these behaviors consistent and enjoyable rather than relying on willpower alone.

How to become a different person?

Reflect on who you no longer want to be and why
Identify traits, habits, and mindsets of your ideal self
Set specific, realistic goals that support this identity shift
Replace one limiting habit at a time with a positive one
Surround yourself with people who reflect the person you want to become

How to restart your life?

Cut ties with toxic habits, relationships, or environments
Clarify what a fresh start looks like for you
Set short-term goals to regain direction and control
Create new routines that match your new priorities